I wished it were true. There had been so much suffering and ravaging of the land. I still had at least 10 months to go of my own service to the Madame though even if the war were to end.“They said the war would end after Gettysburg last year,” Penelope reminded him skeptically and told him not to believe everything he read.“What about the Bible?” he asked her.“That is the word of God,” she reminded him and considered his question blasphemous.“If you believe so strongly in the word of God, why do you sin?” he asked her.“We are all born sinners but I am one of the kind who has fallen so far from grace, that the only path to repentance for me is through harsh atonement! You are doing God’s work when you beat me for my lustful temptations,” she told him.“Has my mother fallen far from grace?” he asked her. He sometimes talked to her as if I were not in the room at all.“She is the victim of circumstance as we all are with this accursed war but yes, I believe only through penance may she. Again, I think it is a good shield to hide behind when avoiding the human race in a crowded city. I think about the subway girl a lot that day and wonder what happened to her. I contemplate going back, but I don’t want to be disappointed again so it is easier to act like I don’t care, and I catch myself trying to make up mean things about her. But in the end either my curiosity, my boredom, or my loneliness wins out and I head back to the same spot at five o’clock. I really don’t have anywhere else to be anyway. This time I see her and I am sure she is looking for me. She walks right up to me and I said, ‘I missed you yesterday.’ I didn’t plan to say it, it just came out and I immediately regretted it. ‘I was sick,’ she said. And then she hugged me. Didn’t ask, just did it, not that I would have denied her or anything. ‘Are you feeling better?’ I asked while she was in my arms. ‘I am. Thank you,’ she said. Then she released me and turned and walked away. I watched her go and noted.
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