The first of which is that I don'tremember much of my life before my jr. High years. The second is that onething that I do remember ever since I was about five years old is that Ihave the mind and soul of a female but the body of a male.How all of my troubles started was that one day when I was five I was inthe playroom of my Aunt's house while there on a visit. I was in theplayroom and got into the most girly thing that I could find. A TUTU. WhenI turned around I saw my Mother's face looking in the window of theplayroom door. I never will forget the reaction that I got from her seeingme in the tutu. She started laughing. Now I don't want any of this to soundlike I blame her for of my problems as it would have been the normalreaction to seeing a boy dressed as femenine as the most girly girl. Mom, Iunderstand and your reaction was not your fault. The fault was all mine when I didn't tell you how I felt about wanting,wishing, praying that I would wake up one day as I felt I was. "Just trying for a change," Carol explained."But you'll look like a smelly boy," one of the girls bellowed beforeher mother grabbed her by the arm and started to apologize for her.I looked at the girl and said, "Do I look like a boy?" No," the girl replied as she looked over my dress-covered form.Their mothers laughed before I added, "Well, I think she'll be goodthen!"That comment or its response seemed to prompt one of the girls to ask,"Mommy, can I get my hair spicy?" What?" The woman asked to my bemusement."I want a spicy cut!" Do you mean spiky?" Paula inquired."YAH!" Sure, maybe when you're, like, fifteen, sweetie. See you ladieslater," the woman said with haste as she pulled her daughter out thefront door.We said goodbye to the group of women and their daughters and focusedon our tasks at hand again.It was not long before they were mercifully escorted out of my salon.I breathed a sigh of relief before I told Carol, "I'm sorry about allthat." Hey, if they think you look good,.
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