Since my life revolved around frozen meals and fast food these days I quickly agreed to a home cooked meal. I helped her finish shopping and assisted her loading her groceries into her car. I noticed she had bought a case of beer and I commented that I wasn’t much of a drinker and she admitted that it was for her husband. She was in AA but her husband still drank and this was for him. Looking at her facial expressions at that point I could see a sadness come over her face. I didn’t mention anything but it was clear that she wasn’t happy. I followed her in my car to her condo. Carrying the groceries to the door we chatted and laughed. She had called her husband on the way and let him know that she was bringing company for dinner. When we walked inside I saw her husband a middle aged thin and gruff looking man sitting on the couch staring at the television. Shannon introduced me and he responded with a mumble that I imagined was a greeting. I smile politely and we made our. ”“I doubt Pythagoras’ Theorem was part of her syllabus,” I said.“No, but something I have used more often than that theorem: how to gain the confidences, and madges, of females.”I stared at him. Humphrey Appleby did not strike me as a ladies’ man.He was the epitome of nondescript. Everything about him was indeterminate; height, build, age, hair colour, eye colour, voice, manner – there was nothing about him that struck you at first glance. He was the sort of cove you could be alone in a room with and not notice him, although I must admit when he spoke he commanded both attention and respect.He saw my look of amazement and smiled. “I know you think me a dried up old scribe with only ink in my veins. I might have developed into such a figure had not Polly told me the sure way to be a success with female. It is quite simple. Regard females as sentient human beings and not as a something to be pursued, possessed, owned, and disregarded. And always listen to what they have to say.”We rode.
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