"I'm just not a crier. And it's not a macho thing either-I'm not afraid to cry. I just don't, generally. It comes out in other ways." What other ways?" Stop moving and you'll figure it out." I did. I held myself very still, wrapped in his arms. Then I realized it. He was shivering."You're shaking! Are you scared?" A little. I shake when I get overemotional, don't ask me why. I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Fear is one of them, but only one." Why are you scared?" Lots of reasons. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you." No, you won't," I said-though I wasn't sure about that, I was a virgin, and he was awfully big-but I knew he'd never hurt me intentionally. "It'll be fine. I trust you."And I did. I trusted him. I trusted him with my body, I trusted him with my soul. You could say that I don't trust easily, but that'd be an understatement-I don't trust at all. But I did trust him.So I lowered myself to his bed, smiled up at him, and said, "Jared. I want you. And I want you to take me.. Before long, and only later I realized, I had had my first ejaculation in my own shorts courtesy of a young boy's touch.Weeks passed. I started to have feelings for Stevie in the way I had never thought of before. I nervously debated the issues within my mind, and one day, mustered the courage to confront him shortly after he disembarked from his school bus at our corner. I asked him if he would like play, but he declined. As he continued to walk past our house, I beckoned for him to come closer, suggesting I needed to talk to him about something. Our detached garage faced the house, and with no window in the rear, allowed privacy from his home next door, and was situated on the property in such a way that nobody could see us. After getting him into the garage, I managed a way for him to sit on my lap, and interlace his fingers in mine atop my legs. I found his hands intriguing. Somewhat rough and dry for a young boy who didn't know of hard labor, and very much in contrast to.
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