We both knew how to face, or run from them. Mine was aging comfortably in its tall, square bottle, and she took hers with OJ. So we did the best we could, for hours on the front porch, until the mosquitoes drove us back inside. She persuaded me to stay. It didn't take much, considering I had run farther from my terrors than on most nights. She led me to her room, her giggling and me stumbling. I was sure we'd wake Mama, if she hadn't already died. Either way, no one stirred, and we fell into her bed, fumbling with each other's clothes.What followed is still a hazy blur. Did we have sex? I'm still not sure. I know we tried. I know the touch of her firm, silky skin took me back to those nights at the Variety - that night when she cupped her breast with my hand for the first time and I was lost. But, as it did on too many occasions, our escape led us to a rabbit-hole dark and deep, a welcome and familiar fall from our waking hell.*I lay in the dark later that night, drifting in and out. .." Elizabeth, don't make me tell you twice." Yes, Mummy"Liz found Nanny in the library."Is the party over already?" Nanny asked."No, Ma'am" Well, shouldn't you be at the party then?" No, Ma'am" Liz was on the edge of tears. She hated this part. "Nanny, would you please give me a hard spanking?" Why do you need a spanking, dear?" Because Mummy says..." and then Liz told her about what a terrible bore the party was and being stuck with that prick Carolyn and about the tree frogs. And how she told Carolyn not to open the box."Did you tell her what was in the box?" No, it was none of her business." You set her up, didn't you?" Nanny asked"Well, yes. But I don't think..." That you'd get a spanking?"Liz looked down at her toes. "No, Ma'am"."I want you to go to your room. I'll send one of the maids up to help you out of your dress. I'll be up in a little while. I want you to think about what a naughty girl you've been."Liz was sitting on the bed looking down at the carpet when the maid.
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