Still, in her own way, I think that Megan loved her dad, even when he tired of her lackadaisical lifestyle, two pregnancies, a failed marriage that had nothing to do with either pregnancy.I had a lot of data on Barry Harris.Megan knew the old me. That's the only one she knew. That's the Jessica she expected to find when she called me."Hey, Jess, 'Sup???" Megan asked me."Nothing but work right now." Money still tight?" Getting better." I didn't tell her it was getting better because I wasn't going out where so many people gladly helped me to spend it. "'Sup with you?" Kid's tying me down. Glad Mom is into that whole grandma thing so I can get a night out every now and then." Working?" Nah ... Two kids. Just got me a Section Eight apartment. Got all the programs. Getting by."I'm thinking that next time I look at the deduction block on my check stub, I should have Megan's face in my mind."Lemme tell you why I called."'Okay, here it comes, ' I thought. "Sure!" I said, trying to sound. Mr. Wainwright would watch and they’d both get hard for me, oh god why am I thinking like this, what is wrong with me.My cheeks burned with shame, but somehow that just made it hotter. He was so close I could smell him, like suede and old books. I took a deep breath and sighed, “I promise.”“Don’t forget this week’s assignment is due tomorrow. I won’t take a late paper this time. Now hurry up, you’ve still got some time to get to class.”I nodded and left, Addy and I speed-walked to get to class. Pressed for answers I just told her, “I guess I’m not good at cutting class.” I couldn’t tell her. God, I hope Garrett didn’t tell Becky. Oh God, Garrett. The rest of the day passed in a fugue state. I knew the truth of what Garrett thought of me. That beautiful boy. He knew I existed which was worse than not knowing I was alive. He knew I existed and thought I was plain, ugly, nowhere near as beautiful as Becky or Constance. He thought I was the plain dumb boring girl who’s obsessed with.
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