Married with kids, the free love boat had sailed away without us. We were stuck on shore, limited to observer status.On 1975 New Year's Eve, the kids tucked in bed, tipsy from wine, after midnight kisses and midnight fireworks, I broached an idea until then unsaid.“Honey, I want to ask something.” I’m tired of taking the pill. Can you get fixed?”His inebriated answer as he slid in was.“Great idea, if I’m fixed, we can go swinging”.There it was, proposed sex with others as we rang in the New Year. He had joked about swinging before but now was serious, even if tipsy.Having sex with others was a turn on fantasy for both of us, but for me, not by swinging. The idea of anonymous sex was unappealing. I didn’t want to be a group, grope toy. The concept of couples meeting for casual sex was something a man would dream up.On the marriage bed, I’d titillated myself imagining sex with actors, men flirted with, the San Francisco belly dance patron, even Joe Montana the San Francisco 49er. She said that sounded so naughty and exciting too, to hear about a man getting so worked up that he messed up his britches.”“Callie, did you really tell your sister? I won’t be able to look her in the face now, knowing she knows I did that.”“I’m telling you Cal, she was jealous of us that we did that, touching and kissing like that until you got all worked up.“Just talking to you about it again makes me feel all excited and so naughty Cal. I hope you don’t think I’m a bad girl, you just make me feel like I want to lay down with you.”“Callie, we need to stop talkin like this, I don’t want you to not like me just cause I say or do the wrong thing.”“We don’t need to stop Cal, I want you to feel good about me and about us. I want you to think of me when you leave, I want you to come back to me one day and let me be with you always, that is if you wanted me that way.”“I already told Tom that was what I wanted, that when him and me got through with our lookin around over the country, I.
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