" She knew from experience that I got moving kind of slowly in the morning. Not that this was morning, but still...I looked over at the clock hotels are kind enough to set on your bedside table. Jesus! Eight-thirty, the illuminated numerals said, which I knew had to be at night. I'd slept thirteen solid hours! It had to have been about the longest uninterrupted sleep I'd had since, well, since forever. I usually got by on about seven hours, less in a pinch if I didn't have to do it many days in a row.And I had to pee, I realized, really bad. I snapped on the bedside lamp to augment the waning light that was seeping in the window, hustled myself into the john the oversolicitous bellhop had showed me, and let fly for a very long time. Finally I was done. I washed my hands, went back to the bedroom, opened my bag, took out my tooth stuff and got the sour taste of sleep out of my mouth. Then I splashed some water on my face, dried off and headed toward the phone on the desk."Gotta call. Cool, they thought! Each one, in a separate room, thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page...On the second page was written...For 95 points:Which Tire? _________Lovemaking Tips For Seniors And you too Jim!!!!!1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember...6. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act...7. Make all the noise you want ... the neighbors are deaf, too.8. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!9. Don’t even think about trying it twice...‘OLD’ IS WHEN...Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love, ‘ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’‘OLD’ IS WHEN...Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.‘OLD’ IS.
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