It was a Sunday, I was on call, which meant I couldn't drink as i had to wait for the phone to go. Shortly after midday the dreaded phone went, when I answered it I was informed i needed to travel all the way over to the Barnsley area as a mattress in one of the nursing homes wouldn't inflate and an engineer was needed.Getting into my van i drove over to the home and knocking at the door, was met by a gorgeous red headed girl. She had the largest chest on her for a woman I think i had ever seen. Her name badge made it worst as it was pinned right on the tip of her mound, Gaining entry I was shown to the room in question. Used to the familiar urine and bleach smell on the home I knelt and examined the motor. The brushes were shot, so i had to take it apart to change the motor's brushes. Informing Sarah (the girl) about this and that I would be here for a while she offered to get me a coffee, which I gratefully accepted. Watching her leave, i watched her. She was about 5'10, a thick. ' I thought. "Okay, so let's get it overwith." I spoke to the computer in frustration.The computer continued, "What is your gender? Press 'one' for male orpress 'two' for female.'Ha!' I thought. 'The women are still in second place. Yes!' and Ipressed the 'two' on my phone. That should screw things just a little."What is your age group?" The computer asked. "If you are between 18 and25 press 'one.' If you are between 26 and 35 press 'two.' If you arebetween 36 and 45 press 'three.' If you are between 46 and 55 press'four.' If you are between 56 and 65 press 'five.' If you are over 65press 'six'."Guess if you are over 65 they don't care all that much about your age.Oh well, I should press five but let's give this to the youngergeneration. I pressed 'one' on my phone."Are you married or single?" If you are married press 'one.' If you aresingle press 'two.'"'Gotta change that too.' I thought so I pressed the 'one.' I was reallysingle and always had been. I was a male, 56 years old and.
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