In the mean time, I cleaned up and Rudy and I went to dinner after the staff left. I had exchanged info with Nelson and intended on getting together with him again soon. I spent the next three days with Rudy, fucking and sucking him whenever he was able and taking on his friends, who he would invite over to party with at night. I was back into my sexual addiction mode and I was loving it. My next shoot was being done in a warehouse and Rudy had another gangbang bukkake planned. I stayed wet and filled with cock and cum until then. I lit up a cigarette and walked out of the room as Rudy reached over to slap my ass on the way out. His cum ran down my leg as I made my way to the pool to relax after getting fucked and to see the photos of my babies, that Mikey had sent me. I had been gone for 10 days so far and I had done three gangbang films and probably fucked over 50 different guys during that time. I was smoking full time again and hated that, but it felt good, since I was back to. "I just can't seem to get my head around the fact that I'llnever lift ship again, or be out there. That I'll have to sit here onEarth and watch all of that from a distance." It's something you'll have to accept." Clarke shook his head slowly,the sorrow, not pity, showing in his eyes. "I'm sorry that's the waythings turned out, but it's the way things are now." So I'll deal with it." My answer didn't sound all that convincing,but he let it go at that and returned to the original subject."That you'll have to do largely on your own, Eric, but I can and willhelp you with that heavy burden of guilt you're carrying around now."Let me tell you something. Digging into that was not at all pleasant,for either one of us. We both stuck it out. * * * *"Well, I have a pretty good pension to live on." I was telling Connieabout the things in the package I had received from Major Handsford."But I'm a civilian again. NASA retired me." You could still work.
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