I had loved to read. The stories on pages that took me to far off places and filled my mind with dreams and fantasies had been as much a part of me as my music had. Many nights of candles and hot cocoa rested between the pages of those books. I never felt quite so alone when there were unread pages for me to devour. Some of those books I had read repeatedly. There were passages that were memorized and characters that would speak to me at the oddest of times. Then one day I realized that the characters that were speaking to me weren’t from any book or story that I had read, but rather from books and stories that I had yet to write. It was an odd revelation, that. I had dabbled in writing, in creating my own style of storytelling. I found it odd that my forte and my talent lay in the erotic. I wasn’t very experienced sexually, but in my imagination, I was a grand and wonderful lover. In my mind, I surrendered my sexual being to men that craved my submission and my body. Men that. . and then I got a feeling in my penis that I didnt recognize orknow what it was until years later ... at the time it was just a tinglingthat I had never felt before... not an erection but just somethingelectric like. Like a little thrill centred right on my penis.It felt so good and even though I was all alone I didn't feel lonelyanymore. It was the most wonderful feeling and its carved into my memoryhow it felt and how putting the girdle on felt and how I felt. But ofcourse I also knew that I should not be doing it so I was also kind ofembarrased and then scared. Even though I didnt know then what the worldthought about people like me I knew how my Mom felt about her clothes, soit was a long time before I did that again! In fact it must have been almost two years before it happened again... Iwas home alone and knew Mom wouldn't be back until late. It was like thefirst time... I didn't know why... but suddenly I found myself goingthrough her drawers and ended up in her foundations.I.
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