.."There was a pause, then Candy and Mandy jumped up and began removing their clothes. Figuring it's better to be part of the crowd than wait until I'm the only one, I kicked off my athletic shoes and socks, then standing, I turned to Grace and Nicky who were sitting on either side of me and said, "Would one of you be so kind as to assist me?"Nicky jumped up and began to strip off the top to my scrubs. I turned to face Anna who had changed out of her scrubs for dinner, and while Grace, with help from Jenny, was removing the bottoms, I said over the din, "I really like the scrubs."I didn't have any underwear on. I didn't have any before, at the hospital, and I didn't bother to put any on when I packed. So everyone else was just beginning, except for Candy and Mandy, who had finished. But as Grace and Jenny pulled down my pants, everyone, well ... all the girls anyway, stopped and stared at my newly exposed member. Evidently, he seemed to like the attention, rising to the occasion.It. Perhaps it’s biological. Perhaps women can never really shut off that part of us that longs for our first true loves. I’ve had two or three loves since then, but they were easily wiped out of my mind in time. You have been branded into my soul in a way that I don’t understand. If this was 1998, and I was merely engaged, I could throw everything away that I had at the time. I would take the risk. I would shed myself of everything for one more chance with you. A part of me wants to smack me for feeling this way. I linger over the sensation that I can still trust you with my whole being, and the sensation that it is the right thing to do. I am living a lie. Everyday that goes by, I know that I have only hastily tried to patch my world together and keep moving forward, but that I am carrying a flame for someone else. Even if you are secretly laughing at me, I’ve been warned before that I am not truly happy with the one who loves me. I am safer in this world to stay with him, though. The.
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