I looked like a girl, played like a girl, treatedlike a girl and that made me happy But every time I came home, I felt sad again. What Louise and I did wasjust fantasy. It was just pretend. It was just I acting like a girl. Ithought it was a sin because I was trying to be something that God didn'twant me to be. On top of that, I was not your son that you wanted to be.I was so ashamed. Life was horrible. It still is. I told you they call mesissy and gay. They think I am too girly. The truth is they are right.Mom and Dad, you think it's just a phase. Well, It's a hell of a longphase to go through. I think all parents turn a blind eye to theirchildren's fault. And my fear was that you would soon found out who Ireally was/am, and hate me for it. The one time I was happy and am happy was at Louisa's. She reallyconsidered me as her sister. Once I told her that sometimes I pee in mytrousers and I like it. She then came up with an idea to put a diaper onme. I wasn't at all embarrassed that. "I hadn't thought of that, but she was right. I nodded. "Good point. I guess if I'd realized that, I'd have saved myself a lot of worry. And you a lot of grief, huh?" I guess. But you can't help doing dumb things. You're only a man." Her hand slid up my leg and squeezed the little buckaroo through my shorts. She grinned. "Lucky for me."I managed to get enough sleep to get up refreshed at seven, mainly because the little buckaroo had failed to respond a third time to Cheryl's demands. Since the Canyon Cliff Campground had a laundromat and an adjacent cafe that catered to the passing traffic, we did laundry while we had breakfast. I didn't want to have to explain the condition of the sheets to Keith and Joyce.After the sheets were back on the beds, Cheryl decided that she didn't want to explain, either, so she pushed her shorts and thong down, bent forward, and rested her hands on the kitchen sink. We had one for the road because she was just too cute for my short partner not to.
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