"Cornelius smiled tolerantly at my passionate desperation. "I do notimagine I know why you desire to find this relic for yourself," hesaid. "It seems unusual that you should pursue this magic flask allthe way from Athens, for more than a year."I desired to explain that a true relic, a bona fide artifact of thegods themselves, would be confirmation that the world in which we livedwas more than colonnades and triumphant arches. What poet could aspiremore than to examine the works of Heaven itself? But I was unable tospeak more than a few stammers before Cornelius held up one hand."Disregard that for now, Ovid," he said. "It is unimportant for themoment. Let us suppose I have the acquaintance of someone who may knowmore of the Bacchanalia than either of us. Then let us presume she maybe convinced to reveal those fatal secrets to one of the centumviri.What shall I tell her, Ovid? What charms could you put into verse thatwould convert a definite enemy to a cautious ally?" The tale. Defense: How did you come to be there?Miss Diddling: Charlie told me that his Ma would be out late, so we would have the house to ourselves. Guess he was surprised.Defense: So he invited you?Miss Diddlins: Like I told you.Defense: How was it that Charlie, a senior, invited you, when you are just a freshman?Miss Diddlins: Don't you think I'm cute?Defense: Doesn't matter what I think, Miss Diddlins.Miss Diddlins: That's the silliest thing I ever heard.Defense: Your Honor?Judge: The Court will take judicial notice that Miss Diddlins is cute.Miss Diddlins: Thanks, Judge. Why don't you just call me Cherry? Everybody does.Prosecution: Objection, relevance.Miss Diddlins: I don't think you like me at all. First you go after Charlie, then you object to me.Defense: That's his job, Cherry.Miss Diddlins: Ooo, I like it when you call me Cherry! But I don't think I'd ever go out with someone who had a job like that.[Laughter in the courtroom.]Prosecution: Your Honor!Judge: Well, I wouldn't go out.
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