I too roll on my side and prop myself up on my elbow. We lay facing each other, smiling in our afterglow. Our breathing is finally back down to normal, but sweat still beads our glistening skin. I kiss you softly, placing your hand over my heart so you can feel it beating for you. I’m unable to hold in this love I have for you.“My love, this heart is yours. It is in your hands so do with it what you please,” I say to you as I look deep into your eyes.You smile and place my hand over your heart as well. “And my life, this is your heart. It is yours to keep and do as you will.”I lean my forehead against yours; our hands over each other’s hearts feeling our hearts beat as one. “All I want to do is cherish it, because I never want to know a life without you in it.”I move away slowly, a tear already running down my cheek. I turn around and open the drawer in my end table and rummage for a moment. You sit up and peer over my shoulder to see what I'm doing. I turn again to face you and hold. I only remember bits and pieces of it. The guy, though kind of cute, didn’t make it enjoyable at all though the alcohol could have affected that as well. It was like I wasn’t really there. After putting his penis in my mouth for a minute or so, he got on top of me and put it in. He didn’t do anything to get me turned on and it hurt a bit. That surprised me since he was nowhere near as big as you are. After a couple of minutes, it was over, and he left.It was such a disappointing experience. I just hope that this doesn’t cause you to think any less of me. The experience made me realize a few things. Alcohol isn’t my thing; I would never have sex with him had I not been drunk. The alcohol made me lose all shreds of common sense. I didn’t even think to make him wear a condom; I’ve beaten myself up over that decision ever since. I have made two trips to the campus clinic since that night. All the tests come back negative, and I think I’ll make a few more visits just to be completely sure..
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