’ Ed could just barely imagine what her life had been like, and a part of him wanted to shut that part of her past out. But that wouldn’t be true to her grief, and to the world he wanted to make for her. To hide from her past would cause her to feel shame for her past, shame for something that had not been her fault. Running away from her wounds would build a wall between his love for her and her acceptance of his love, would root their relationship in a lie. In Ed MacCarley’s world, lies were the foundation of hatred and violence, of recrimination and accusation. ‘You know I love you, don’t you, Sara?’ She nodded her head. ‘Eddie, I’ve thought about this a lot, what I feel for you, what I think you feel for me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt these things before, Eddie, so I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like. But I know how I feel when I’m with you. I know that when I’m with you I feel like the world is going to be alright, that I am going to be OK. I feel all warm inside,. It was like being in my very own portable cave."Aw, baby, you still don't feel well?" I heard my mother asked as I came shuffling out of the bathroom. I could just see Hunter down the hall towards the kitchen over her shoulder and could feel all the blood rushing to my face when he looked over at me. Mom came over and put her hand under my hood to feel my forehead. "Baby, you feel a little warm. Maybe you should just take it easy today." Yeah, I think I'll stay in my room. I just want to grab some coffee." Sure, come on into the kitchen and I'll get you a mug. Frank made a fresh batch just a few minutes ago."I shuffled behind her, head down as far as it could go so, I could only see people's feet. Dear God, those were Hunter's feet, weren't they? How could a guy possibly have sexy bare feet? That was just mean."Honey, I just feel awful. Frank, maybe we shouldn't go out today? My Mom and Dad wouldn't mind putting it off for another day." Sure, love, if you think that's.
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