Perhaps she was beginning to enjoy this session. He grunted “Five.” As our next candidate no9 stepped into the light, her wet eyes darted to his hands, strangely eager to see what she was about to feel against her seriously abused skin this time. The long leather strap hung from his grasp, he was another member that we had limited the number of strokes owing to his previous performance with “subjects”. He concentrated his assault on his favoured part of the anatomy, her gorgeously inviting pale legs, The long strap wrapped itself brutally around both of her shapely thighs just above her knees…. she screamed and waggled the lovely appendages about, each leg being separated for just a second, it was the chink in the armour he was awaiting, he was in, the leather wrapping itself round her raised right thigh in a blink of the eye, a red stripe appeared livid against the inside pale skin. Again she screamed and jerked about, her body supported by the wrists as both legs snapped. ”The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says, “Judge ... I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.”The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.The judge says “OK.”“Well”, said Paddy, “After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song ... when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates.”The Judge instantly responded... “Wow ... that must have hurt!”Paddy replies “HURT! ... He broke three of my fingers!”A guy was accosted by a hooker. She asked, “How ‘bout some relaxing oral sex, honey? Only $50”“No way!” he responded. “I’m married!”“So? What difference does that make?” asked the.
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