? She did remember. She remembered so much about the months that she had spent on the phone with this man. She had listened as he had described in graphic detail how he would use her and torture her. Somehow, she had fallen in love with this cruel man whom she had never met. ?And you know what, slut? Even with you coming down and giving yourself to me, do you want to know the truth?? She was silent. ?You want this a hell of a lot more than I do. I could live without ever meeting you, whore. Could you say the same?? She stifled a sob and tried to hide the knot in her throat. ?No, Sir.? Don?t cry, don?t cry. ?Say it, slut. Tell me what you are.? The words were second nature to her. He had made her repeat them for months. ?I?m a worthless cunt. I?m a stupid piece of shit. All I am is a hole for you to use, Sir.? ?I hope you believe that. I hope you know that?s true with all your heart.? She believed it. Over the past. It's nice to see your shining faces. We need to have a discussion about what is going to be happening while your mom is gone. What do you kids do all day since there isn't school yet?"They responded as I expected. There were no scheduled activities. Joan did have some household responsibilities, and John mowed the yard once a week and they both had to do their own laundry periodically, but beyond those tasks, their days were wide open to anything and everything that might come along. For most things, they didn't need me to chauffeur them anywhere--it was just easier, and more comfortable for them to walk. We agreed that they could eat breakfast at my house if they so desired, have lunch wherever they found it and return for dinner at my house at an agreed upon time. They also felt that, with mom gone, it would be best if I stayed in town and was available to take phone calls should they need to reach me in an emergency. I also insisted that they would sleep at my house, and that.
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