I wondered if it had been about me. Then my conscience upbraided me with having committed adultery. I took to going to church more regularly, and repeated the commandments emphatically.I was now approaching nineteen years, was at home doing nothing but study, and with scarcely a farthing of money. I tried to get into one of our servant’s unsuccessfully, she was a plain lass, but had a cunt, which was all I wanted. I began to kiss and fondle her, which she submitted to demurely. Then by surprise one day got my hand up her clothes, and between her cunt-lips. She loudly screamed, which luckily was unheard, for my mother was out. Her cunt felt wet, and I found from my fingers afterwards that she was poorly built. She rushed downstairs crying violently, the next day gave warning and left, much to my relief. She never I am sure told my mother, but I was in a fright until she had left.I restrained myself from frigging, although sorely tempted to do so, and luckily found cheaper and better. What was your immediate reaction, when she first started talking to you?" It started when I saw them coming in. My first thought was that I hoped they wouldn't come sit by us. Then, when they did, I hoped Brenda wasn't going to try to talk to me. After that, it didn't matter that much. I decided not to say anything to her. I didn't mean to say what I did to her, it just slipped right out of my mouth." Women have that power over us, Kenny. We risk great peril whenever we fail to meet their expectations, or to satisfy their needs. As to the latter, it has been my experience that no amount of trying can ever satisfy all of their needs. I have a theory that women are the ones who cause men to fight so much amongst themselves. There is something both primitive and satisfying in striking someone, or even in being struck, that only manifests itself after spending too much time listening to a woman complain. Of course, we must try to resist doing that, because it would be falling right into.
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