" No, don't say that. Please Tim..." Her voice had an urgency, a panic, and was breaking with possible tears.I went on, trying to ease the moment back to something more manageable, "Well, I'm happy to talk. I might find some understanding of what you did so that I can put it to rest, in my past, but that's me being a bit selfish. If you find that too painful, and would rather we just have a clean break, then say so. I'll thank you for the most wonderful ten years of my life, and I'll always regret that you chose to bring it to an end."I wondered if I should stand up to go. She looked at me and realised that I was at some sort of breakpoint. "I don't understand why you are so committed to divorce. Surely you can only take that decision after we've talked, not before?"I sat back. "Yes,... Well... Beth, I'll talk for as long as you want, but I think I'll end up in the same place."SilenceI tried another tack, "Beth, I said I wanted a copper bottomed guarantee that you would tell me the. Mother is so proud.I know it was planned this way, but I rarely think male thoughtsanymore. Why would I want to? My life has become immersed all thingsfeminine. Though I am still outwardly a male, I still wear maleclothing. I wear no makeup, my hair is still that of a long haired maledilettante. But inwardly Mother has succeeded in placing the world offemininity into my psyche. My speech and mannerisms have becomeincreasingly girlish.The process of keeping me a male in all outward appearances whileindoctrinating my 25 year old male consciousness continually with allthings female is working perfectly. Most importantly of all, fromMother's point of view, deep down, under my male clothing, Mother isstarting to see a girl about ready to burst out. This six month periodof being outwardly a male while inwardly learning the knowledge and thefeelings woman must have was a brilliant stroke of genius on the part ofGrandmother.Beauty School has now wound down. I really enjoyed the experience..
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