Plus we have some questions for him."Actually I was relieved. While I'd thought of having Horace stripped naked and strapped to my bike like some hunter's trophy or bungeed into the front basket, the wires cutting a waffle pattern in his bare ass, I really didn't have the heart to do it to him. He was sitting on the bottom step of the podium, his head hanging in defeat. When, oh when was he going to learn to quit making such dumb choices? Even Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber -- sorry, Cagney and Lacey -- had caught on faster."He's all yours," I told her."I'll see you later, Chiquita. Save a place at the dinner table for me."Only a few minutes after she led him away the rest of us were saddled up, and I led them out the door to take a tour of the town, every single one of us naked, some on borrowed bikes. It was as good a promotion for The Program as any banner could have been, and Darryl didn't mind lending us some of his stock since those bikes had his tag dangling from the. We were both tired of living a lie and pretending to be “just friends”, so when we came out during an interview on “That Metal Show“,, Janne gave me a big kiss and a hug and then proposed right on the air. Of course, I had accepted! I loved Janne more than I loved life and was overjoyed he wanted me forever. And especially to ask on national American television, right in front of Eddie Trunk, who hugged us both and wished us as long and happy of a marriage as he had. Janne’s parents were all for it, and Dad was dead so he had no opinion but Mom was less than enthused that I was marrying Janne, who she had always refused to refer to as my partner, calling him my friend and asking me why I wasn’t dating my friend Anette, the lead singer from Nightwish., and why wasn’t I a good little straight boy like my brother.I finally responded by saying, “Mother, I love Janne and someday I will marry him. You don’t tell me who to love. I didn’t tell you not to marry Sami (my stepfather) even.
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