I avoid commitments. I tense up when things get real. I build the walls up around me even thicker. I don’t admit feelings, I deny their existence. I don’t fall in love because I don’t want to feel the pain of being hurt. Six months is a long fucking time for me.He’s my Dom, my Daddy, my Sir, my boyfriend and my rock. He’s allowed me to feel and be me. He doesn’t judge me for my faults. He loves me for them. He’s been the first person to breakdown my wall…hell he shattered it.As many of you already know, I am in a triad. The Giant’s other sub/girlfriend (la la) and I have really been able to bond and connect. The dynamics of my relationship with her are complicated. I am submissive to her…but I am not her sub. There’s sexual attraction and energy between us and she and I play quite well with each other and with Him. See? Complicated is good. But, because of an insane workload, I have not gotten to spend much time with her and we really haven’t been able to work out a group night with. If he did, it could add some juicy bit to the rumor mill that was going to start up in the morning.Once showered I felt a bit better and went to bed to some troubled sleep with a scary dream of me choking on Monique's panties while she stood watching with a big smile on her face jerking on some dude's huge cock – not Greg – until he sprayed load after load of cum into my face.I forced myself to wake up but as soon as I fell asleep there it was again.So I finally gave up and fired up my laptop to make a list of things I needed to do.1) call local lock smith and have all the locks changed on the lake house and have him lock the garage door from the inside so the door opener won't work. He can leave the new keys at next door.2) call contractor and cancel his Friday appointment at the lake3) call my lawyer, the one for a divorce. Maybe the other one too. At least alert her that there may be some work for her too.The lawyers are kind of interesting and I keep wondering if I've ever seen.
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