I am still in fear of running into someone I know. Pretty lame, dude. Nobody I know would frequent this type of place. Nobody. I need to relax and go with the flow. Finally, I find the bar. I put a twenty on the flat surface and ask the tender how much vodka my note will buy. He holds up five fingers, which he strangely turns into a fist, and does a silly upwards pumping motion. Okay, I say to myself, whatever dude. Give me the damn juice. The bartender lays a paper circle on the counter in front of me. Sets down a large glass. Pumps five shots into the glass from the vodka bottle. Uses a metal scoop to drop in ice cubes. Holds up an orange juice carton. I nod, he pours the juice until the ice cubes are floating even with the rim of the glass. Drops in a straw, stirs and scoops up my twenty. He is standing there, as if the transaction is not quite finished. I have not tipped the guy. Oops. I have money out in the car, but not another red cent in my pocket. If I leave now to retrieve. There is nothing to fear. It is a simple exam that every adult male should undergo. The main aim is to identify cancers and other diseases. Early detection has been the god save of many. Now, grip the edge of the exam couch and take a nice deep breath!’ Stefan was shuddering as he tried to hold the tears back. He gripped the edge of the couch and turned his face downward. I held his hips a little tighter. “This one is going to be a challenge!” I thought as he started to cry. ‘Right Stefan, I am now going to part your buttocks. You will feel my finger against your sphincter. That cold feeling is the lubricant. Remember – keep your buttocks unclenched. Ok, on the count of three I am going to insert my finger smoothly. If you reduce the clenching it will assist.’ By this time Stefan was almost inconsolable! “PLEASE Dr McKenzie! PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!” Ignoring the pleas issuing forth, Dr McKenzie kept his finger at the entrance to Stefan’s.
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