'The engineers have it undercontrol.' He drained the coffee. 'But I'd better get going.''You are coming back for...''Wouldn't miss it, Liz.'The applause was deafening when we walked on and we went intoour opening number. We did an upbeat version of 'At Last' and myvoice soared a few notes higher than normal and I was able tobelt the song out a little more than usual.At lastMy love has come alongMy lonely days are overAnd life is like a lovely songWe had been rehearsing a long version of 'The Shadow of YourSmile' with solos from Mel and Mandy before the music melted tojust the piano, Cleo with brushes and me singing.The shadow of your smileWhen you are goneWill colour all my dreamsAnd light the dawnLook into my eyesMy love... and seeAll the lovely thingsYou are to meKeith did join us on stage for 'I'll Be Long Gone' and theapplause was huge. We were called back for an encore and we flewinto a pulsing version of 'Take Five'. Keith came back on andplayed a duet with Mel on saxes and it. I get excited just by his eyes on my body. When he traces my curves with those stone-cold blue eyes, waves of arousal liquify me. I crave him almost as much as I despise him. That’s disgusting to me, that I can look at this man who keeps me from my family and from my life and feel anything but hatred. That when he touches me, every cell in my body hums with electricity. Catching his scent on clothes I’m occasionally given and the change of bedsheets he brings every week is sometimes the highlight of my day. It’s pathetic.Part of it may be that I’ve never quite felt as alive as I do now. My days are dangerous and somehow unpredictable, even though I end up doing the same thing for a week. I never know what mood he’ll be in, if he’ll even look at me.He must be as horrified as I am. Very rarely do our bodies make accidental contact. He doesn’t spend an excess of time with me. He’s stopped indulging me with chocolate every now and then, or an extra blanket when the chill from the cracks.
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