I was cracking jokes in there to my friends on the football team when she chimed in:"Chad, shut up. Your jokes are played out."At that moment, I got pissed off for about three seconds. Then I quickly composed myself:"Okay. I'll shut up. I'll shut up," I said while cursing her out under my breath.Other days, we would have no issues and sometimes we would laugh and talk together. She even sang to me once. She had a surprisingly good voice. I was mystified. Had I become attracted to her? If so, how?As the year went on, I began to notice things about her. For example, her eyes were light brown. I had never looked in a girl's eyes before then. How, I do not know.One day, our Sweetheart asked me to lend me some money. Now, I am a product of my environment. My grandfather once said: "Never trust anyone around your money." So, when she asked me this:"Chad, can I borrow a few dollars?"I said, "For what?" exasperatedly."I'm going to Jack later, silly!" she said. (Short for Jack In The Box)I. I stayed by the entrance to your forbidden zone, not braving to approach your bed, nor touch you. Only your head was visible above the sheet, and you slept like an angel, like you were ten years old again, breathing shallowly. I loved you in my mind and heart and body, to bursting.07 October 2006We had dinner together today, for the first time in a week. It was so good to have you back with me, even for a short time. You were sloppily dressed for staying in, no makeup. Jeans and an old sweater of mine. You like to wear my sweaters, and that is a joy to me; afterwards, when you take it off I can hold it, I can smell your perfume, your soap, your skin odour, and it’s as though I’m inside you once again, part of your body, though I have a dreaded fear that a fully satisfying coupling between us may not happen again. You will decide.When you’re away from me I can handle and smell your clothing too, your delicate underwear. It’s my way of being with you even if you’re absent.And yes, dear.
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