This is so not like you,” Xavier chided, ignoring the tension in the man’s shoulders.“That only proves how little you know of me,” the brunet dropped his voice to an almost pained whisper.Xavier’s eyes flashed in anger. Lucas was cruel to treat him like this! And for what? For a servant? He touched the man’s hand, caressing the small patch of skin between the black glove and the hem of his shirt.“Why?” came the barely audible question. “Just because you can?”Xavier sighed. “No, because every little thing in this world is set, and a servant does not belong in a ruler’s heart.”“But he does belong in a ruler’s bed,” Lucas continued to ignore Xavier’s touch.“Why not? They are prepared and trained to serve.”“Not like this, and you know it.”“Yet there are many ignoring this so called rule you are talking about,” Xavier shrugged as if they spoke of matters of minor importance.“With all due respect, Xavier, you are in a class of your own when it comes to this. You ostentatiously refuse to. It was clear that physical contact with me was on the agenda. I just didn't know how intense it would become. It was a long trip from the airport and I thought that Charles had to work early in the morning so I wasn't too disappointed when he went to bed early. I was on East Coast time so I stayed up talking with Sis.I asked what she meant about helping me with my shyness. She got kind of philosophical and told me why being a woman was so complicated because of sex. This was territory we had never talked about before because sex was so embarrassing for me and sexuality was a taboo topic in our house when we were growing up. She said that overcoming shyness requires confidence and confidence requires experience. The problem is that experience is scary because sex starts out painful and because it requires a man and that's the reason for the shyness in the first place. I was in a vicious cycle of not gaining the experience I needed to develop confidence because I was afraid of the.
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