It’s very slutty – and we love it... By her side, pulling against her grip, is a mean-looking, muscle-bound hound – an American bulldog called Cooper... Jenna introduces herself in that cool, friendly mid-western American accent, “Hello, and welcome to another edition of our little show ... I’m your host, Jenna McCartney, and this week, we’re in boring Bournemouth to meet a very clever lady who could go anywhere in the world, but really wants to visit us here, in ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’!”We cut to see this week’s guest... Walking across the yard toward Jenna and Cooper – she’s perky and pleasant, with a pep in her step, her fist-sized boobs jiggling and bouncing inside a loose white blouse ... Narrow hips and slim thighs are wrapped in a knee length skirt, with skinny lower legs reaching down to high-heeled shoes as she clicks across the yard.We cut to a close-up of her upper half and see that she’s a moderately attractive, middle-aged woman. She has a wider-than-seems-possible. Being a post-Valentines Day event launched on 15 February, I wanted the opposite of a romance story. I was thinking of a end-of-relationship, revenge, break-up story, perhaps with some sort of movie involved, with short clips stitched together reminiscent of that short sharp cinema ad break. Anyway, I came up with this bitter little story.PEARL AND DEAN“Damn it, Dean, careful with that camera gear. Put it in my room, while I check out the spa.”“On it, Pearl,” I said, trying to ignoring the increasingly snarky attitude that my boss had been using with me recently.Pearl Campbell is a best-selling wildlife photographer and author, her latest work in progress specialising in wetland birds and waders, hence her luxury hotel booking overlooking the Norfolk Broads estuary marsh, awaiting birds migrating from summer feeding grounds in the arctic circle, to see out the winter in gentler climes.Once the birds were hunted keenly to supplement winter diets, now they’re hunted keenly by amateur.
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