Thank you." Thank you, you big sweetie." So tell me, how was your day?" My day was fun. I met up with my old college friend, Candace, who is married and lives in Sarasota. Her husband is loaded and she has the big house and a maid and..." I really don't care about Candace. Tell me what you did?" Sorry, I tend to babble, have you noticed? She took me shopping and I spent a lot of money and I bought some beautiful stuff and then we went to dinner in some fancy restaurant and it was just okay. Something I ate hasn't set well with me. I just took some Tums but please excuse me if I rip one." We'll see how bad it is. Meanwhile, drink some wine, it will help settle you." Good idea. Got some of that bowl over there?" She sipped as I lit the bowl and passed it to her. "I told Candace, I call her Candi, all about you. Were your ears burning?"I chuckled. "What did you tell her?" I told her about how charming you were and how nice you are to be with, and how you rocked my world last night...". Julia tussles my hair a little, andputs on a barrette she has in her pocket, to make my hair look a bitmore feminine. ("If you let your hair grow past your ears," she tellsme, "you can use a curling iron for some cute curls.")One last humiliation comes when Julia handed me a body shaper and a pinkmini-dress. I object, but Julia pointed out that she had removed mymen's clothes from the dressing room. "If you want them back, you needto try this on and model it for me out here. Otherwise, you can buythat little black dress and wear it out." "Oh, wait," she added, "yourmen's clothes contain your wallet, so you can't buy anything. If youleave the store wearing the little black dress, I'll be sure to callsecurity on you for shoplifting. I bet your wife would have quite ashock if she had to come down to pick you up, won't she?"Oh my! This has gotten out of hand. But, at the same time, I'm turnedon by a woman actually ordering me to wear a dress. Staid Ann has neverdone that. So,.
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