“Tell me now if you’re not interested,” he said. “Because I’m hoping to get a private show.” I stole a quick glance down. Yes, he was definitely sincere. Jeans don’t lie. Don’t ask me whose idea it was but before I knew it we were in the gazebo, and I was dancing by the light of a tiki torch. Naked. Blame the tequila. Blame the fact that he got naked first and dared me. Blame the fact that he had whispered in my ear how much he was dying to kiss my big thighs, my round belly…what a sweet talker… The tequila was wearing off just as I was gyrating up on the bench and Matt was moving in for a closer look. I felt his breath on my thighs…then his hands on my round butt. It’s a little hard to bellydance with a wet hot tongue in your navel and clever fingers creeping up the backs of your thighs and slipping between the crack of your ass. I gave up trying and let him lift me to the floor. He had a great mouth. Knew how to kiss. He tasted like the rum he’d been drinking, heady and dark. He. 9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west” on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. ‘In honor of the season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets.
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