She was crushed by the turns her life had taken but she picked herself up and brushed herself off and got on with with her chores — because that’s what you did. Still, in her heart she knew she loved Jimmy, and she missed him terribly when he went away. Dreamaway had been sure since she’d first laid eyes on him that he was the one to lead her away from the mountain, and onward, to her dreams. What had happened? What had she done wrong? She stopped going to church soon after that, she was afraid her father would beat her again but he didn’t, he almost seemed to understand her disenchantment. She worked hard and even prayed when her oldest brother died after being bitten by a huge timber-rattler at church, and she continued to look at the clouds and follow them as they drifted away just over the trees, forever out of reach. She dreamed and worked until Jimmy came by the farm a year later, he was different yet the same — and she knew he loved her when she saw him walking up the hill. When I saw it before, it was soft. Did Emily take all your hardness away yesterday?" I wouldn't say all of it. Too bad you were still asleep when I got up this morning. It was really hard then." From seeing me sleeping in your bed?" Joyce had an anxious and hopeful smile when she asked me that. I didn't want her thinking that way either though."No, I always get a hard on when I first wake up, because I need to go pee. It's called a piss hard on, and that's about as hard as it gets." Tomorrow, when you wake up can you come over to my room and show it to me? I'd like to see yours when it's hard." Just mine or anyone's?" Just yours for right now. Maybe later, I'll try to see others though."I was running late, so I walked her out of my room and hurried down to my car, without breakfast. In the parking lot at the academy, I went over my notes before my first class. We were having a big test, and I hadn't studied as diligently as I normally would. I got lucky though, and the answers came.
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