She needed to be totally committed. She needed me to be totally committed, as well. We both knew I wasn't, and thus there was still an element of fear in her submission. She was not afraid that I would intentionally harm her. She knew that if I ever did harm her physically, I would curl up and die of shame and guilt. What she feared was that I would hurt her unintentionally, and not just physically. That was because in terms of what we were entering into, I was just plain stupid and ignorant. I had no idea of her limits. I didn't know the path, as Amud called it, or where it went or why.I was determined to change that. I had to take away her fear — and my own terror, as well. To do that, I had to 'experience the path' myself, as Amud had said. It had taken me a long time to figure out what he meant. I may be slow, but I get there eventually. It took even longer to admit to myself that I could do what he meant. But I think I had always known what I would have to do and that,. "But Ken, it's so simple," Ali replied. "There's not a law firm around that can run a full-bore research operation for less than $180,000 a year. Since we're basically pretty cheap, we thought that giving Kathy about one-third of what she's worth would be about right. What's your problem?" she asked with her eyes wide.Ken just shook his head sorrowfully and commented, "See what I mean? What chance do we have?" Again he shook his head and said, "Well, back to the story. Actually, we're now very close to the present — this only happened last week. You see, on the Monday following the picnic I got a call from the law firm's personnel office. They wanted me to come in to see Kevin Collins, the managing partner, on Thursday. So I put on my good suit and drive in, dropping Kathy off at her office on the way."When I'm ushered into his office, I'm amazed at the greeting — it was like I was a long-lost brother or something. It seems that all he could talk about was my paper — fortunately,.
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