.. Sign in Psychiatrist's waiting room: You don't need to be insane to see me, but it does help.Sign in the local Optometrist's window: If you can read this sign we don't need to make an appointment.What is the difference between a cop car and a pineapple?On a pineapple the pricks are on the outside.Mummy, mummy, where is daddy?Shut up and keep filling in the hole.This one is compliments of DennisMURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBATYou are not a supermanIf it's stupid, but works, it's not stupid.Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.When in doubt, empty your magazine.Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.Never share a foxhole with someone braver than you are.If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.No plan survives the first contact intact.All five second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.Try to look unimportant because the bad guys may be low on ammo.If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.The enemy diversion you are ignoring. But the sign one block west read: Montana State University ... with an arrow pointing south. So I didn’t turn on 7th ... I turned south on 8th. Up the slight hill the truck coughed. I turned in at the Exxon. I suppose I could have turned across traffic and bought gas at the Mini Mart ... but there was FULL SERVICE ad the Exxon.The attendants shirt read Roy.“I ran out of gas, Roy. Fill ‘er up, please... “Yes Ma’am ... those tipi poles?” He was gawking while doing the work. And FULL SERVICE meant exactly that. He checked the air in my tires and the oil in the engine, the water in the washer and the anti freeze in the radiator. He pried the tops off the battery and added water to the cells.“Your battery posts are dirty. I’ll clean ‘em, if you can spare a minute or three.”“Have at it, Roy ... what ever...”“I can see why you ran out of gas.”“Why is that?”“Your gas gauge doesn’t work.”“Never has, Roy.”“I can fix it.”“Go for it.” I asked, “Roy ... I’m starved half to death.”“Right next.
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