I had frequented his cafe for years for conversation and the greasy gut bombs that my wife never allowed me to eat; sneaking them home to devour during football games while she was away. Eventually I sold the house full of memories at a loss, and moved into an apartment in town to await my own demise.One particular rainy afternoon when the loneliness was becoming overwhelming, I donned my rain gear and took a stroll over to the café. As always, Max was there with a hot cup of coffee and smile that melted away the grief within moments.'What's news Max'" I queried after taking a seat at the otherwise empty counter."Some loony goth girl is a might early for Halloween," he gestured over to the corner booth where a slight figure in a hooded shroud sat staring at the TV screen. "She's had six of my burgers and has a wad of bills that would make the IRS have an orgasm! She's just sitting there, staring at the tube and stuffing burgers." That ain't right Max – I might understand if she was. Dual action lubricant? One would hope that lubricant was about 99% industrial strength spermicide. Lubrication on the outside is good, and I know a lot of the ladies, and some of the guys out there too, thank condom makers for that feature, especially when you’re with a partner who has a limited knowledge of how foreplay works.Lubrication on the inside? I’m thinking that would have to be bad. You know what I mean? Just the right little pinch of vaginal muscles flexing and the next thing you know one of you is probing a finger up the old golden snapper in search of a lost rain coat.Warming and tingling sensation for both partners? Eh. You could probably do without it. Usually a condom is a big help with someone who does not last too long. It gives him a little less to think about and worry over while doing his job. Add an element of warming-tingling sensations paired with lubricant inside, and well he will probably pop off like he’s not wearing a condom in the first place,.
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