We kissed for hours in gardens, beaches, and behind malls; anywhere that afforded us privacy. We both lived with our own parents (as is common in Singapore). He quickly became my first boyfriend. Later, my parents would be horrified to find out that their decent Chinese daughter dated outside of her ethnicity, to a dark-skinned boy. (This non-politically-correct view was common among Chinese Singaporeans ten years ago.)I'd been reading online teenage sex-advice forums since I was f******n, and I always thought I would discuss in a mature way how and when I was to have sex for the first time. I didn't recognize that him daring me, three months after we met, on the phone, to cab over at midnight, was an invitation to do the dirty. I sneaked over, rosy-cheeked and giddy with the excitement of a first relationship.His parents were asleep. Candles were lit, the navy sheets smelled fresh, and we were making out for the first time in complete privacy. We were giggling naked and rolling. She was still wearing her sun dress and for some reason that seemed more sexy to me than if she’d been naked.I took her again missionary. She made it too at least I think she did.We lay side by side breathing hard, the both of us. I couldn’t remember her being so hot, or me either if it came to that. And, for some reason or no reason that little fact worried me.“Good for you?” she said.“The best ever,” I said.“Well, good,” she said. “I needed you to know just how good a man you could be. That’s important to me.”“Well, let’s just say you inspired me,” I said.“Hmm, okay, well good,” she said. “We’ll talk later. I have some things to say to you, and some things to ask of you. Okay? But not now, a little later, maybe tomorrow.”Her tone, her words, something wasn’t right, but right at that moment I could not have begun to guess what those might be. More, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. But what was also certain at that moment was that I was satisfied and happy and married to the most.
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