I didn't trust my voice or emotions before the throng.In the lobby, her life in pictures was splayed on cork boards. Pin held photos of her and me among them. After the service, I met a few old acquaintances and re-connected with past banalities. Befitting her wealth, a sumptuous lunch was served at an upscale hotel in downtown Los Gatos. I met the relatives, until then unknown. While her husband was cared for, the bulk of her estate went to a faraway cousin I'd never met.Attending the previous Notre Dame classmate's funeral caused the question, who am I. Julie’s resulted in a self-perception answer, beyond adulteress, despicable.The time from her death to the funeral service allowed thirty days of reflection. By then, I realized I’d never been her friend. Despite shared interests, humor and secrets, I’d treated her like I’d treated others, except family.I'd always been sensitive about family, defended them even when obviously less than perfect. Hubby knew; never berate my family,. " "You are a girl." "No girls allowed." We don't want girls here." "Girls can't play right." "Girls can'tthrow footballs." "Girls can't catch." "Girls are sissy." "Go away,sissy!" Even some boys whom John thought were friends joined in, toJohn's dismay. He turned away in humiliation, with tears in his eyes.As he walked away, a girl ran up to him. "Hey, come play with us." Itwas Joyce, a girl in his class and, although he was slightlyembarrassed to admit it, one of his friends. He usually didn't likeplaying with girls -- at least not publicly -- but he followed her tothe monkey bars, where she was playing with several other girls.They were playing tag on the monkey bars. As soon as John touched themetal bar to climb, a girl tapped him on the head. "You're it!" shegiggled and climbed away. John clambered up as fast as he could afterthe girl, but was too slow. However, another girl appeared just belowhim and he tapped her. He jumped up to the next-higher bar, escapingthe.
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