. isn't that ... dirty?" Not a bit. If you'd like, I could buy you a few books on the subject." You mean like dirty magazines?"Allison laughed. "Brit, there's a difference between art and pornography. Not that pornography doesn't have its place. Look, next time I'm out shopping I'll stop by the book store and get you some books so you can start reading through them." But what if Dad finds out I have them?" We can solve that problem easily. I'll ask his permission first. All right?"Brit nodded. "I suppose that would be okay." Good. While we're on the subject of nudes, I have a great idea. Probably the best way to start is with photography. First so you can get used to having a nude model in front of you, and second so that you can ignore the form and concentrate first on the pose. It will help you develop an eye for the lighting especially."Brit laughed. "Where am I going to get a nude model?" she asked."Oh, didn't I tell you? When I was in college I helped pay my way by working as a. And look what it got him. I begged God for answers. I begged him to take me back to my own time. I begged him to let me die and just be dead. I was in hell. I’d suffer through birth, marriage to a bastard, the disapproval of my parents, the shame of my classmates. I’d live in the same house I was born in until the day I finally cut free and divorced him. I’d get a job selling real estate and carefully save as much as I could. I’d push Jesse until he actually made something of his life. Before I ended our marriage, we’d be considered successful, ‘in spite of everything.’ And miserable. I’d be able to recount every time we’d had sex in twenty-five years of marriage. But I’d stick it out for the sake of our daughter.I looked up at the solemn people with bowed heads as the preacher droned on. Some were praying; others were sleeping. I listened. I listened for God’s voice. I begged him to hear me and give me guidance. All I could hear were my own thoughts. The only future I could see was.
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