I told him I was. He said he thought he knew what I meant now."You remember Claudia?" Did I! Claudia was Davie's girlfriend. Things had cooled off in the last six months or so, he said, until she called him on Wednesday night. Urgently!"What coffee does she drink?" I asked quickly."Shit, how would I know? Some Dutch stuff she found somewhere. Can't stand it!" Davie! Her tits? Are they... ?" They're enormous, Col. You gotta see them. How's about this weekend?"So it was all arranged. Davie was bringing Claudia round to Jessica's on Saturday evening. We would make a night of it, the seven of us, if you counted Baby and Acme."There's a link between coffee and the water softener ... That much is obvious. What's not so clear is why some women aren't affected," I said to Louise as we drove down the road that Friday night. If we could find out, we could do something about it."You mean, like go into the breast enlargement business?" I hadn't thought of it from that angle, but yes! At least,. . it tells me your problems, gives me ideas, tells me gossip and can pout in a most fetching manner. It kisses me hard and soft, and you can use it to put the hairs on the back of my neck up with a few well chosen words, whispered from millimetres away. All arguments for leaving the gag at home. I put it to one side; I'll need to consider it. I never used to see the point in the theatre but your tastes are rubbing off on me, and we're off to see the Shakespeare play you wanted. Personally I've avoided any mention of the man since I left school, but your enthusiasm seems to be rubbing off on me, even though I still suspect you're mainly in it for the fit young actors in tight tights and codpieces. You asked me to book tickets for Friday evening, and I think your plan was for us to get all dressed up, enjoy the performance and pretend we're proper grown-ups for a few hours. I lied to you though. On Friday night you're going to be perfumed and prettified in your best clothes, ready to.
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