None of those traits attract Lynn in other men and none of them apply to me. I’m 5′ 10′, and barrel chested with light brown hair. We have lots of other little differences, too. For example, she loves Cracker Barrel and I can’t stand their menu. Just the same, during long car trips, I’d often pull into Cracker Barrel for dinner just for her. She didn’t have to ask and I wouldn’t listen to her protests. It was okay. For her, I’d find something to eat there. In the same vein, she’s not a sports fan, but she sits next to me for every championship game I find important and cheers for my team. Our accommodations for each other extend into the bedroom, too. We each have little quirks we accept. She knows my favorite position would be cowgirl and she eagerly pushes me on my back and climbs on board regularly. I know her favorite position is an odd spooning position we’ve never found a name for and is difficult to describe. She lays on her back while I lay on my side, nearly at a right. Two texts later she invited me over. It was a five-minute drive to her house, which she owned, yet she’d been unemployed for over a year. I later learned she used to be a scuba instructor or something, but was now spending time “finding herself,” which apparently meant eating KFC everyday and drinking five nights a week. When I arrived, Pam and one of her unattractive friends were in the kitchen eating chips and salsa. I noticed one of the kitchen walls was a gargantuan painting of a chef. The chef literally was the wall, constantly reminding Pam to keep eating. “So you’re the Sex God?” her friend asked. I smiled at Pam. “Geez, Pam. You’re such a blabbermouth.” Pam laughed. “I know. It was just too funny,” she said between bites. “But you know? It probably wasn’t a good idea to say that because now you have a lot to live up to.” “Oh, I know,” I fired back. “I mean, you’ve really set yourself up for failure,” Pam continued, her eyes dilated. “I don’t know about that.” I opened.
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