Anyway, I like, think that grams, like back in the olden days before there were like, cars and stuff, like totally started this and like it’s been done for like a hundred years on mom’s side of the family and like, you know, it’s tradition and all, like, you know?Dude! This is like, you know? Embarrassing and stuff? But like, well mom says that if it’s too embarrassing, I could like, totally ruin a family tradition. So I can’t like, be embarrassed tomorrow and stuff? So like, I’m doing my own like, you know, like essay? Like as if it were like, you know, like being graded and stuff? I’m doing it like, so I’ll totally get over it and like, not, you know, be nervous and stuff?Tomorrow at breakfast, you know this is kinda big shit and stuff? So it’s like, totally okay to be like, nervous? Just not like, you know, embarrassed and stuff? I am a virgin. Shit. Like I just totally wrote that, you know? But like, tomorrow at breakfast, mom’s gonna give me my like, my birthday present and. “Please you can’t, you’ll ruin my life” She begged“Oh sweetie that’s the point of blackmail!” I said condescendingly with a smirk on my face“Blackmail? Do you want money? I’ve got two thousand dollars in my bank account. I can get you even more if you want. Just please, it was a mistake, please keep it a secret” she pleaded“Oh it’s not that kind of blackmail, tell me. Out of all the porn that I’m sure you have watched. Have you ever seen anything to do with slaves?”“Wait what?” Then the realization finally hit her and that’s when the tears came “no fuck off, there is no way I’ll be your sex slave you sick freak!”“Fine” throwing up my hands in mock defeat and backing up to get back in my car “I hope everyone else is as understanding as me” as I started my engine she opened the passenger door and sat in the seat, Looking straight ahead she said “please just don’t send those emails” I smiled, started the engine and began the silent 15 minute drive back to my home and her hell.My parents.
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