I played sports at school and college. Whilst I wasn’t the first name on the team sheet, most seasons I played each game or a part of it. However, I did have a secret – I was gay. This was not a thing you admitted if you wanted to keep playing sports. One also didn’t talk about it at home in that repressed environment. On top of that, my little sister thought she was a Disney Princess. She is now thirty-two years old, haughty, and still thinks she is a Disney Princess.After college came marriage and kids. In truth, my life was a loveless sham. Sex was nowhere. How could I have sex with a body I didn’t love? A question I have always pondered was, “Did I ever truly love my wife?” I guess I did in some ways, just not the right ways for the wife.We argued about money, of course, and the kids, who I adore, even if the act of getting them was a chore.Then one day out of the blue, it happened. It was a Tuesday evening and she – I can’t really call her my wife anymore - gave me a beer and. Nothin' good will come of this." Well, just get it for me, we'll make the trade, and you'll never have to worry about what I do with it later." Very well, very well," said the leprechaun. "Stay here, I'll be right back."She took a long swig from her bottle, squinted and belched."An keep yer grubby fingers off the nuggets while I'm gone!"Then screwing up her face, she turned around and slipped out of the world, leaving Jim alone in the alley clutching her treasure.Jim looked around. No one was watching. Was this really happening or had he finally lost it? Only the kettle of golden lumps reassured him that the tiny drunken woman had ever been there. It took only a moment to set his trap. The waiting was the hard part.After a minute-long eternity alone in the alley, the leprechaun returned with a pop."Took you long enough," said Jim."We can't all be as fast as yer slut of a mother, now, can we?" said the churlish leprechaun. "Now stick yer comments in yer bung hold and give me my pot of.
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