We offer the prettiest girls in the area, and if you check around, our rates are quite reasonable. In fact, if you order three hours with her, we’ll give you a fourth hour at half our regular rate.”“Just an hour will do then.”“Okay. So what girl would you like?”“What do you mean?”“What type of girl would you like to spend the evening with?”“You mean you’re not the girl?”“No,” she chuckled, “I’m just the answering service.”“Oh. Okay, then. What type of girl do you have?”“We have white, black, Hispanic, and Asian models available.”He thought she’d hold it against him if he said he wanted a white woman, and he felt a little funny about wanting only a white woman, because he didn’t want to insult the beauty of black, Hispanic, and Asian women in the world for not choosing one of them. But he blurted out the word ‘white’ without doting any longer on how his choice would affect worldwide racial harmony among people.“Okay,” she said. “Would you like a blonde, brunette, or red-head?”“Blonde,. I saw your video the other night and got your number from Chris. I hope you don’t mind.”The girls must have seen the shock on my face because they were suddenly all attention.“No, I don’t mind. I’d have given you my number long ago I’d known you wanted it, ” I said with a slow smile blooming on my face. “How are you?”“Me? I called to ask how you are. You were pretty upset in that video. It made me a little weepy when I got to the end.”“I’m doing a little better, ” I told my all-time-outstanding-celebrity-crush-of-all-time. “I mean, it’s still awful to know this is going to be his last Christmas with us, but it’s getting a little less overwhelming. Sometimes I even get distracted from it for a little while and I feel almost normal. Today’s been a good day.”“And I’m ruining it by asking about it!” she said, anguished. “I’m sorry.”“Don’t apologize. I can’t think of a better way to keep my spirits up than getting a phone call from Scarlett Johansson. I never really forget about it, but.
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