They’re very vandalism-resistant, those machines. And so the crowbar first hit the glass, then the shoulder and it sort of ricocheted on his ear, which started to bleed instantly.I know what you’re thinking: I should have smashed his face in. And I would have, but Not Having It-Man was using every inch of his body to keep him pressed against the vending machine and I didn’t want to hurt the wrong guy.“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” howled Gun Man, and sank to his knees.“Thank God for that,” sighed Not Having It-man, who unlike me didn’t even seem to be out of breath. (I’d been running for, oh, twenty metres or so. That’s me done for the day.) We both scrambled for the gun.It went off... “Oh fuck,” said Not Having It-man and fell over, grabbing my jacket in an attempt to remain standing. Only now did I see his face. He had a grey moustache. We both toppled over. A red spot appeared over his stomach. He didn’t let go of my clothes, which restricted my movement.“ALLAHU AKHB...” bellowed Gun Man,. He loved all the attention he received from the men.Chapter EightI had racked my brains trying to devise a way to get to 'Ablefield' for a weekend so that I could indulge my transvestite urges. (They were becoming unbearable, when I daily witnessed Patrick living full time as a girl.) I was reluctant to leave him on his own for the weekend in case someone discovered his identity, and I wasn't sure how he would take it if I simply told him I loved to crossdress, although I had dropped enough hints. So I finally decided on a fait accompli. "Pattie, how would you like to go away for the weekend to celebrate your birthday?" I asked."I'd love to," he enthused, clapping his hands together in the girlish way he'd recently adopted. "Haven't had a holiday for a long time. Where shall we go?" I know a place in the Cotswolds that you will love. There's also a very special person I'd like you to meet. We'll leave as soon as I finish my morning surgery tomorrow. Pack a bag with all your sexiest.
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