She was five-three, maybe five-four. Curvy. Slightly-tanned skin. Honey-blonde hair, shoulder length. Short summer dress, tight down to the hips with a ruffled and flared skirt, strappy wedge-heeled sandals. Looked a little too country and not enough rock-n-roll for this town.Perfect.I should have known right then I was in trouble.Ordinarily, a girl that close to my personal ideal of femality would send Dick into overdrive, and I'd let him run his course -- after all, with Dick's tastes, I've taken one for the team more times than I care to count; I deserved some playtime too. See, even Dick's a creature of habit, and he'd long since gotten into a rut. (Insert rim shot here.) I know it seems nuts to complain about getting to bed women more or less at will, especially when you're as... average as I am, but you try it for three months and see if you don't start to get tired of servicing overpampered undersexed upper-class housewives and overpierced undershaved neogoth chicks. That's. No screwing around at home — certainly not in the marital bed! That’s what motels were made for!’ ‘If you’re looking for a little strange, open your wallet and pay for it, Mike old buddy. There are half a dozen places within an hour of here where you can find pros — very high-end pros — it’ll just cost you a few hundred bucks. Or consider a little wife swapping — that’s not an offer, by the way. There are a dozen women in this neighborhood I’d ball in a New York minute — including your wife. I also know you’d fuck my wife Jamie in a heartbeat.’ ‘That gets out and it can get very messy. It’s the old ‘falling in love’ trap. Come on, admit it! You’ve thought about it, Fred!’ ‘Of course I have. Look, Mike, I travel in my job a bit more than you do. I’ve gotten the urge a few times and always opted for the ‘no strings’ professional. You need to pick your poison very carefully. I’m not talking about picking up some hooker on the street. I tend toward high-end independents, stay away from.
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