I am sorry I'm using a throwaway, but my family would disown me if anyone saw this as I come from a Christian family. This is kinda graphic. I am a christian (Or at least I try my best to be), but I do have troubles with temptation. One of those being my first cousin. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah is currently 13, and I am 15 (male), but this started when we were 10 and 12. It started out one summer as just kissing, and when we were caught by our siblings we just stated we were "Practicing for when we needed it". We’d always make movies as k**s, and her and I would always be husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, yada yada yada. You get the picture, so it wasn’t really that big of a deal in our minds.Flash Forward to winter of 2010. She’s 11 and I’m 13. My cousins and I (Sarah, Me, My 9yo sister and 8yo cousin(boy)) are watching star wars together. Sarah and I were sitting next to each other (as always) and she snuggles up to me. I put my hand down by her waist and she doesn’t seem to. I avoided answering James questions about how we would get out of this. I just wasn't for sure if everything would work out the way I wanted it. I don't like to talk about things that aren't clear yet. He kept bugging me and suddenly changed the subject. "Are you staying with me?" Or will you leave me soon?" I wrinkled my forehead and swallowed the rest of my dinner. I didn't thought about that yet. But it was something that was needed to think of. He was my father and lover and now he's asking me if I stay with him. The answer should be clear, but I wasn't for sure if it would be such a good idea to stay with him. He needed me right now - that was the only thing I knew now. As soon as I'd leave him without making sure that he's safe somebody else would kill him in the order of the dead Louie. He needed me without knowing as his bodyguard. That was just ridiculous - but true. I still carried my gun with me in the purse I had with me."Excuse me for a minute," I said and stood up. I.
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