She chuckles and does the same. “David,” I croak. She takes her glasses off and I just about have a heart attack. She’s freaking gorgeous. And her dark eyes make me melt. Seeing my reaction she knowingly smiles and says “I’m only here a couple more days. You?” I’m barely coherent by now, “Uh, (my voice cracks) Jay and Amanda said I could have the place for a month. Just got here last night. I’m a writer, Finishing a novel.” Oh my god! I’m thinking, I’m a blithering idiot! It’s not like I’ve never seen a beautiful woman before. But she is incredible. Ok, David. You’re old enough to be her dad. Get hold of yourself. I ask, “So how do you know Jay and Amanda? They’ve never mentioned you before.” She looks at me appraisingly and says, “I don’t know them personally. We have a mutual friend.”I say nothing and look out on the surf. She sits down and moves right up against me. The knapsack is staying exactly where it is. She looks at me, “Are you sure that’s comfortable?” I nod without. .. and don't be putting one in ... not even in your mind ... it doesn't read 'That's just weird, David.' No ... no ... no. No comma.)Everybody started laughing spontaneously.Except me. I had fucked up again. This 'returning' is dangerous. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots ... I felt ... loose ... my asshole clenched. I slipped the guitar in its plush case and stood ... one might say I waddled down the hall and to the bathroom ... Waddled is too slow but my guts wouldn't have withstood a run ... or even a 'trot.'To myself ... but aloud ... I mumbled, "Don't fart ... don't fart."The light was out ... the door was open. I said a silent thanks to what ever gods there be, dropped my shorts and sat ... with milliseconds to spare."David! ... Good Lord ... shut the door!" cried Grannie."I ... uhh ... can't."The veriest green fog rolled down the hall and crept into the living room."At ... least ... flush." I did ... UHH! ... Oh ... uhh." Another tidal wave hit my intestines...After the.
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