I didn't know if Iwas some kind of freak or not, but I had just denied who I was, andwould for a long time.They through away the clothes, but they sensed I wasn't being completelyhonest with them. They decided I should see a psychologist, since Iwouldn't fully talk to them. Well, that really worked out well, since Ididn't tell him the truth because I figured he would think I was afreak, too. I managed to sound good enough that he let me out when Ididn't do any dressing again. Mom and Dad were keeping a sharp eye outon me.I didn't dress, but I found something else to do to numb the pain. Ihad been drinking on and off for a while, but then discovered pot.Between the two, the pain went away, but so did my grades. They weren'tgreat before, but now I was barely passing. I was determined tograduate. I had no idea what I would do after, but I wanted to do that.I did graduate, but by the skin of my teeth. I spent the summerwandering from one job to another. I couldn't stay settled. As if in answer to the horrified questions that were beginning to formin his mind, he immediately became aware that he needed to pee. Or heassumed that's what he needed to do. The sensation was different tonormal, but he could feel muscles clenching against another impulse, sohe surmised that's what it must be. He moved unsteadily over to thelavatory. He would have to sit down of course. He lowered himself ontothe seat. It felt much higher and bigger than usual. His long hair waseverywhere, so he gathered it together and arranged it so that it hungdown beside him. Thankfully none of it seemed to have gone into the loo.He tried to urinate, but nothing came. He tried again. Nothing. Heneeded to go, badly, but it was like he had forgotten how. He tried tovisualise urinating, but he was actually having trouble figuring outwhere it was even supposed to come out.He took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. Suddenly it came gushingout, the sensation quite unlike what he was used to. The.
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