Taking the Expressway, we reached Kandala in two and half hours and checked into the room. It was a lovely A/C room, large, with some great furniture, and a large double bed. “Is this OK or shall I get you a separate room?” I asked Gomathi. “This is fine” she replied, again with her shy smile. The time was past 8, and after a quick wash we went for a leisurely dinner in the Holiday Home itself. By the time we returned it was 10.30. Gomathi had adorned herself with all the trinkets and had made herself up- though I always felt she doesn’t need one, and I was looking at her longingly even at dinner. “What are you looking at?” She asked me. “What else? I am mesmerized by you” I said. She smiled coyly.As it was a double bed, I took away a blanket and a pillow and started moving towards the large settee to sleep. “Where to? And what for?” She asked. “I have been looking forward to this, and I made Jamuna stay back, so that we two can be together.”What more could I ask for! I went back and. Oh, I haven’t mentioned he was married? Yes, I knew that much when we began chatting. But I didn’t realise she was pregnant. I didn’t realise that he was looking for some kind of sexual release because his wife wouldn’t, or couldn’t, accommodate his needs. I just didn’t know. I’d found the unconditional love I was looking for. I’d found an ability to be able to return it. My mind blanked out every other aspect, every other possible problem, every other realistic event. I lived totally in the moment. And then it ended. Like the click of a locked door on a jail cell. To say I was devastated sounds so trite. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the.
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