Although your buying me a Raggedy Ann doll when I was little gave me hope that someday you'd understand me. Understand that even in my dreams when I'm asleep, I'm a girl.Even during potty training you might recall that I preferred to use to the public stalls and sit down to pee, even if I had to wait for a free stall. That is something I kept up right up to first grade. Then I only went standing when I had to.While I did play with matchbox cars and such, I preferred games of dress up with your high heels, make up when alone over games like backyard football. Feeling like a couldn't talk to you about my feelings at the time because I love you and knew it would of embarrassed you, I could never bring myself to ask for the canopied bed I wanted the first time you asked me to pick out a bed. Leaving me to settle for the bunk beds. I couldn't bring myself to ask for the vanity play sets of lipsticks and nail polish I saw when we went to the supermarket or tell you how much I wish I could. “You, uh… by yourself?” I asked.Gayle smiled and leaned closer, holding a hand to herear. I fidgeted and turned more toward her.“You alone?” I called a bit louder. She sat up straight and looked about with a forlornexpression, holding her hands out, her book clasped inher fingers. Then an exaggerated frown crossed her lipsand she nodded very unhappily. I laughed, then Gaylelaughed, and I asked if she’d like to come over and sitwith me, gesturing to my blanket. Apparently confused by my offer and unable to hear meclearly, she, in turn, gestured to me, then to her, andthen, bewildered, held up her hands. We both laughed,and I cupped my hands around my mouth, calling outloudly, “Would you like to sit with me?” A fewconversations that had been taking place around mesuddenly came to a halt, as all eyes turned in mydirection. “Sorry,” I mumbled with a blush to the couple sittingclosest. A moment later, Gayle was slowly striding.
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