He didn’t get out and open the door. Well, fuck him. At Penn Station he spat out, “Paducah.”Maybe I didn’t do New York as well as I thought. Well, if I drew him again, I’d go Oxbridge. Yeah, that’d fix him. Being mature this week, I decided not to shoot the fucker. Thought about it, though. ‘I’ll Paducah you, you... ‘On the train, I called Matt first, “Kiryas Square.” Hung up, keeping my burner phone usage under thirty seconds. Repeated it, spelled Kiryas again, with Jesse Sullivan. I’d tasked Dr. Google with verifying the spelling — took me three tries.Kiryas Square was a small Hasidic town in south central New Jersey. Toward the Pennsylvania line. Rural. Several miles from the nearest town. 2010 population of just under 15,000. Average household size — six. Average household income of only $14,800.I put down my airline bottle of red, fairly nasty, and looked out the west side of the Acela passenger car. The route from Boston to NYC to DC cut through the underbelly of the urban. And I almost did snap too. I felt something in my brain throb and crackle and there was a bright flash of light behind my eyes. My body detached itself from my head, or seemed to, and I drifted away for a moment, deep inside myself, watching myself standing there, moaning, whimpering, letting out these weird humming sounds like a man who thinks he can just close his eyes and make it all go away.Charlotte had fainted beside me, but I didn't even notice. I was staring at the floor, trying not to look at the tears in Stephanie's eyes, or the fierce look of betrayal in Ron's. It looked like betrayal anyway. It may have just been disbelief, or even confusion."Charlotte!" Stephanie called out, jumping from the couch to hurry over to her. I turned to look. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion, far away and echoey. All I could hear was the strange buzzing in my ear, like a bomb had gone off next to me, stunning me and striking me deaf. I later realized it was simply a panic attack I.
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