"Because the only women who actuallydress like this pose on internet sites or dance in strip clubs. Orworse."She stopped. Deanna looked like she might cry at any moment."Why didn't you tell me?" she asked at last."You, of all people, should know the answer to that. Unless we arelooking for some kind of notoriety, we are most of us terrified oftelling anyone about who we were. Jocelyn had to guess. Most of us haveto be caught." But I'm like you. Why should you have been afraid for me to know?" Because you were trusting me as a woman, and happy being accepted by awoman for who you were. Then, your mother approached me, and I was afraidthat if she found out, she would ignore the advice I had given her,thinking I just wanted you to be like me rather than wanting you to beyour own person."But there was more. She hadn't ever wanted to be a crusader, a postergirl for t-girls. She didn't want to have to always be explaining who andwhat she was and why she was that way."I wanted to simply. 'Bollocks!' I replied immediately and unimpeded by the drink. 'Get off!' Came another shout. I answered this one by turning round, droppingmy jeans and bending over. 'Ass hole!' Was the audience's response. I stood up and turned back to face the audience. 'You've got it…hic…youbunch of arseholes!' I was aware of the cursing coming out of my mouth andthe obnoxious attitude of the performer speaking through me but who was thisperson? Something hit me or did I just collapse? I wasn't sure of anythingother than I was on my back and holding onto the floor for dear life as theceiling revolved ever faster above me. I was vaguely aware of boos and hissingbut it never registered as anything more than sound. From then on I can onlyremember brief moments of semi-consciousness. I was aware of being in a car. 'Is hij dood?' (Is he dead?) Asked Jaap. 'Natuurlijk! Waroom denkt jij hij in de auto sitten.' (Naturally! Why doyou think he's in the car?') Replied Inke. Missing any sense of irony I.
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